The pub is often thought of as an ‘old man’s pub’, and this is a reputation that, whilst we don’t actively cultivate, we certainly don’t mind. We offer seven different hand pulled ales, don’t serve alcopops, and don’t sell shots. Which means the attractiveness of our offering to younger people who like to party is questionable.
That isn’t to say, though that the pub doesn’t have younger customers. We see the whole range of ages throughout the week, particularly on weekends. In fact, I’m proud that groups of young people come in and feel as welcome as some of our curmudgeonly regulars.
And, as we see people of all ages, we also see couples at all stages of their lives together. From those who are clearly on first dates (who are dead easy to spot), to those who have been together for decades; we see romance blossom, couples comfortable enough with each other that they spend most of their time in the pub apart talking to others, and, occasionally, couples going through a difficult time.
Whilst it’s lovely to see new relationships forming, though, sometimes, they can take things a little too far. And normally, those who decide the pub is a good place to suck face are older than you’d expect.
On more than one occasion, we’ve observed with horror as couples well into their forties attempt, as far as we can tell, to literally eat each other’s faces. And once, as we approached chucking out time, and the staff returned from their post-service drink, we saw one couple take things even further.
It was a (thankfully) otherwise empty pub. They were sat in the corner of, unbelievably, the best room. They’d clearly had a few scoops. She was astride his lap. They remained, thankfully, fully clothed. But his hands did plenty of exploring.
I took great pleasure in advising them that it was home time as they tickled each other’s tonsils. And the rest of the staff enjoyed his stalling tactics as he was struggling to stand up, for reasons I’m sure you can imagine.
Thankfully, though, live sex shows are few and far between.
We’ve also had more than one couple emerge from within our ranks. I’m going to introduce you to one such couple, but each other them has given us plenty of laughter and stories to tell you in their own right. So it’s only fair that I let you meet them individually.
Rachel
It’s a long-held belief that first impressions are everything. Certainly, we can get a feel from new staff whether they’re going to be a good fit during the first hour or so of their first shift. Even for those who have no experience of either side of a bar, certain things will indicate their suitability. One of the key indicators is their willingness to approach people.
As a young person, particularly in the wake of recent periods where we have been locked away from others, it can be quite daunting to see a sea of expectant faces waiting on you to serve them. Those who have a bigger personality, who aren’t shy, tend to do better.
So first impressions can matter. But nobody has made quite such a first impression as Rachel. If I’m honest, I was coming down in favour of Rachel not being a good fit, because of the extreme nature of what she did on her first shift. I’m pleased to say, though, that I was wrong about that.
If you’re not enjoying your work, there are a number of things you can try to do to make the time go faster. Keep busy. Find someone to talk to. Tick the time off in small instalments. Make yourself little goals to make the time go faster. But what Rachel did is almost certainly not a good idea.
You see, Rachel had only been working for about an hour, when she decided to pass out.
Of all the reactions to your first shift behind a bar, this was certainly the most extreme I’d ever come across.
Fortunately, she was fine.
We also realised quite early that Rachel had the occasional mental blind spot. Such as the time when we were discussing the pros and cons of keeping chickens with someone who does. Out of nowhere, she asked if our friend’s chickens were boys or girls. We thought she was kidding, so asked her if she was being serious, slightly incredulous. Her response was also incredible: ‘oh, of course, all chickens are boys!’…
Another impression we all got fairly early on from Rachel was her inability to hide her attraction to another colleague, who himself had a twinkle in his eye whenever he should see Rachel.
Ross
Ross started working with us at broadly the same time as Rachel did. When they first started, Ross was a little bit of a ladies’ man, and Rachel had a long-term boyfriend. It was clear from the get-go that they would end up together…
For weeks, the rest of the staff took it upon ourselves to dish out good-natured ribbing between the two of them. I think they both kind of liked the attention, as it certainly helped Rachel feel like she was fitting in, and Ross has a good sense of humour (he’d have to; he supports Hudderfield Town) and likes what the youth of today would call ‘banter’.
Our ribbing worked. They are still together roughly two years after they first started courting, and even after Ross has left the pub for a career in accountancy. I’m not sure someone with Ross’s humour fits into the clinical world of numbers and bookkeeping, but he seems to be doing well, so maybe the profession is changing and shaking off its stereotypes.
One of the things that first stood out when Ross started was his willingness to talk to people, and, in particular, to give as good has he got. A lot of new starters take time to warm up to some regulars, including Brunel, whose comedic rants can often be taken personally, especially until you get to know him. Not for Ross though. Which, I think, is why Brunel was routing for him on his pursuit of Rachel.
Perhaps the best example of Ross’s attitude to abuse comes from one of his earliest shifts.
We had a couple of louts in who had clearly had more than sufficient to drink for the day, when I was in having a quiet drink with Ashley. The landlord had already made it clear to both the pair of metaphorical newts and the staff working that they would be having no more, when they began to become abusive to the staff and the landlord.
It is one of the very few downsides of working in this industry that we have to, very occasionally, deal with idiots who have had far too many to drink and who are no longer in control of their actions or their words. And for people who have never seen or dealt with it before, confrontation can be very daunting.
So when the landlord had had to nip away from supervising these two morons, one of them shouted to Ross that they wanted another drink.
He told them no.
They asked why.
And Ross, perhaps after only six or seven shifts, advised them ‘because you’re being dickheads’.
Good lad. You’ll go far!
Rachel, Ross … the penny dropped, although it took a while!